she said i really don't hate you but i just want to save you while there's still something left to save

first week of full time work.

so far so good but i am wondering when the heck i'm going to do groceries...

Mags has started standing on her own without assistance and she'll even walk a bit now if you hold her hands. won't be long...

my trip to TO this weekend has been cancelled because Colleen is in the hospital on bedrest because her water broke and she is only 35 weeks. this isn't crazy bad or anything but the longer the little guy can stay inside the better.

i was looking forward to it but at the same time, i wasn't looking forward to driving all by myself so much.

got my mark for my first board back last night - 18 out of 20. at first i was a bit disappointed but the comment was Excellent Work and, the way she talked made it seem like others didn't do quite as well.

tonight is Glee night. i love Glee. best new show. totally thought it would be hokey with the singing but it is actually quite dark. it is also Bones night and i still have to get caught up on Mad Men and i may actually give Couger Town a try. Rogers on Demand rocks! they have all the new shows and i no longer have to decide which shows to watch on Thursday night.

believe it or not, i'm actually watching way less tv than i used to. i'm lucky if it gets turned on before 8:00 now.

ok - going to try and call Colleen now.

feel the rythym with your hands

good day - watched most of the race this am and then headed to Osgoode for church.

kids fell asleep on the way home so we decided to keep driving to Gatineau park. ended up doing McDonald's for lunch. it was raining so we didn't actually get out of the car in the park though we might do the McKenzie (Mackenzie?) King estate the weekend after Thanksgiving if its nice.

i also got my homework done for Tuesday's class and my board for next week's class is also mostly together since i'll be in TO for Colleen's shower next weekend.

this will be my first week of full time work. i'm going to miss my extra days. most of all i'm going to miss the kids.

today is Nate's 3rd birthday. 3 years ago our lives changed forever. its gone so quickly yet when i think of all of the things that have happened since his birth i can't believe how much has been packed in.

he is the most awesome little boy.

happy birthday Natey

always looking down on all i see

took Jess to the airport this morning. sad. but, at the same time, its gotten easier. this is how it is.

great couple days. yesterday we celebrated Nate's 3rd birthday. he had a blast. (pics are on Facebook).

we decided to keep it very simple this year. just the Grandparents and of course, Aunt Jessi. and we went together and got him one big gift (the drum set). he got a couple books too and some dollar store distractions from Aunt Jess (they worked well, those and the balloons).

it was good evening and the meltdowns were minimal. the only surprise is that James brought his brother Ron without telling us. I didn't mind per se but some notice would have been nice as we just had enough pizza.

last night after everyone left and Mom went to bed Jess, Jay and i played Risk.

i have a few busy weeks ahead, actually i suspect it will be rather busy right up until Christmas. i start work full time this week then its off to Toronto for Colleen's shower and a quick visit with Chantal. the following weekend is of course Canadian Thanksgiving and Mag's 1st b-day. then my one class ends and the next one begins, then there's Halloween then Lyle Lovett (with Mom) on the 14th of November and well, you get the picture!

oh, Nate had some egg (a small bite of bagel) - so far so good. we'll try some more over the next little while and see how it goes.

it would be so nice to have eggs in the house.

ok - i'm going to go and be sad for a little while. think we're going to head into Gatineau Park for a drive this aft.

its gonna take a lot to drag me away from you

my presentation went well on Tuesday night. i even volunteered to go first. i would say my board was one of the better ones but it was really cool to see what people came up with.

i made it into work yesterday - nothing like a one day week!

Mom and Jess are coming down today. Mom's going to see the "Beatles" tonight and Jess and i will hang out here. she leaves on Saturday morning. this visit has gone fast. on Friday we're celebrating Nate's 3rd b-day.

i'm boring myself now.

east side love is living in the west end

this am i woke up feeling great and then suddenly i wasn't. i actually had to call in sick because i wasn't about to risk public transit. i took some drugs and they seem to have worked though i haven't had much of an appetite.

didn't seem to affect my energy though. i painted the trim in the bathroom, primed the cabinet for Mag's room, painted the two pillars out front and the garage door. i also vacuumed the entire house.

had a busy weekend too. Jay worked late on Fri night doing a parade for some foreign dignitary so he got Saturday off. I finally got the caulking done in the main bath. we also went to Toys R Us/Babies are us to get Nate & Mag's b-day presents and a shower gift for Colleen.

Nate did surprisingly well even though he didn't get anything he could have immediately. what better time to learn the lesson of delayed gratification. something i need a lesson in myself.

well, its Chuck Bass time.

this life is more than ordinary

yesterday it was so beautiful and Jay was off so we took the kids to the local farm/petting zoo.

Nate is now more interested in the farm machinery than the animals. that's ok. Mags seemed to enjoy the adventure. she's so content.

pics of the adventure are on facebook.

i'm currently waiting for them to wake up so we can hit the Walmart anniversary sale bright and early. plan to stock up the pantry and start Christmas shopping a little early. the Tonka Bounce Back Racer that i searched for madly last year is on for 19.00! have to get Nate's snowsuit too. it may seem early but if you want one in a size 4 at a decent price they go quick.

i have pretty much finished my first assignment for class. wasn't too hard but the idea came to me rather quickly. i just have to glue it together and jazz it up a bit. at least all those scrapbooking supplies i have finally came in handy...i shouldn't say that, i plan on doing Mags baby book soon too.

and, i enjoy the scrapbooking i just haven't had the time with everything else going on.

my life may seem banal but i assure you it is extremely busy.

i forgot

Douglas Coupland, you have redeemed yourself for what i consider several sub-par novels with Generation A.

Thank you.

when i was just a little girl

i'm feeling old these days. not because i'm tired (which i am) but because i'm becoming that person i swore up and down i would never become.

in Montreal, every store we went into had loud booming music. my mom had to leave a couple because it was too much for her and for the first time ever i have to admit it kind of annoyed me too.

then the other night on the bus there were three "kids" i'm going to hazard a guess and say somewhere between grade 9 - 11. they were so frickin annoying i wanted to rip my ears off. i thought to myself, was i that annoying? and the answer is probably. i swear kids are getting worse. but isn't that what every generation says? "kids today..."

the other think i've noticed and i don't care if this isn't p.c. but did every boy under the age of 20 suddenly turn gay? they all seem to have "gay voice". perhaps its like girls drawling out "like, sooooooo". i just find it odd.

i no longer relate.

last night was my second class. i left a bit early so i could try to find parking in one of the free after 5pm lots. of course, i soon discovered these were about a kilometer (no joke) from the building my class was in and not exactly where i would be want to be walking alone in the dark when my class ended at 10:00.

so, i go to the pay lot in front of the building. fortunately i took a 5 dollar bill. unfortunately it had been ripped and taped together so the change machines would not accept it and i couldn't get change for the meter thingy.

i'm now getting close to running late and need to get change so i find the little coffee shop place and buy the cheapest thing i can - gum. when did a regular old pack of stick gum start costing 2.25? I know had less than 3.00 for parking which costs 1.50 per half hour.

so i put my ticket on the dash which read 19:48 and prayed. it worked (thank you Jesus) because thankfully there was no ticket when i retrieved my vehicle at 21:25.

class was good but i seriously have to start my board.

suddenly i see

blogging from work. lunch of course.

not a terrible day considering the week off. of course Nate and Mags were both up repeatedly last night. i give up. wonder how many times i've said that...

as much fun as i had last week having Jess around, going to Montreal etc. it is also nice to get back to normalcy and routine.

my biggest dilema today so far was figuring out what to wear to work. life is good. thank you Jesus.

and i'm leaving, leaving on that midnight train to Georgia

home again.

had a fantastic time in Montreal. such a great place to visit. such an awesome city.

left Friday morning, checked in to our hotel and took the metro down to McGill/St. Catherine. had lunch (poutine with smoked meat - mmm) at the first Ruebens (yes, apparently there are two on the same street with the same name but they are not affiliated). then the shopping began.

my hit list involved H&M and Forever 21 since we don't have those stores here. i LOVE H&M but it was very busy and there was a line up to try on. i did find the perfect pair of skinny jeans there though.

next was Aldo where i found the perfect pair of motercycle/riding boots to go over said skinny jeans.

i honestly can't remember where else we went for the rest of the afternoon! we headed back to the hotel and freshened up and walked up St. Denis to find a dinner spot. we winged it and picked the first place we saw that had lots of people in it. it was a very established looking (re: old) French restaurent. we had filet mignon brochette and it was very good, cooked perfectly and it was cheap.

of course, i was not able to sleep in on Sat morning and was up at 6:30 so i walked down (actually i guess it would be up) St. Denis again until i found a breakfast spot that was open and looked decent. i had blueberry crepes with real maple syrup. yum.

i had to do a repeat performance when i walked back the hotel and mom and Jess awake and hungry. i stuck to coffee the second time around.

after breakfast we headed back to St. Catherine and hit up Forever 21. it was so crazy busy. it had just opened a week before so the line-up was pretty insane but at least you could take 12 items in (unlike H&M's 7). for super trendy stuff that you don't want to pay a lot of money for it was a pretty awesome store.

checked out Mango too. they had an "event" with a live DJ, candy bar and free vitamin water. liked a lot of the stuff and though it was reasonably priced it was more than H&M and i had a pretty strict budget.

went back to H&M again and got two skirts.

went to the second Ruebens for late lunch/dinner and had the best burger i have ever had though perhaps the fact that i was starving had a little to do with it.

then it was back to the hotel and cab to the train station. the cab from the train to the hotel was typically scary. the cab back to the train station was the smoothest cab ride i have ever had in Montreal.

today is Church and then i have got to clean this house.

wait a minute mr. postman

sitting on the floor drinking wine watching a re-run of Bones hoping to convince my sister and mother to switch to the football game shortly.

kids are sleeping - rough day. cranky, cranky, cranky...

tomorrow morning we (mom, Jess and I) leave for Montreal. i'm excited of course but i know i'll miss them. how sad is that? its only one night. i've never been away from Mags overnight. the only time i've been away from Nate is when i was giving birth to Mags.

at least i'll be able to sleep in for the first time in 3 years. watch, i'll be up at the crack of dawn. perhaps some drugs. the legal kind of course, are in order.

ok - gotta go pack i guess

too tired to think

of a title that is. and well, about pretty much anything else.

currently watching a movie with Jess.

great few days - got Jess on Friday morning. went to Deacon on Sat and had a great visit with everyone though the kids were terrible sleep wise. oh well.

on Monday Penster came to visit. once again, kids did not sleep.

last night was my first class. i think i'm really going to enjoy it. i had to buy a paint fan today at Benjamin Moore. i felt so cool. how lame is that. i mean anyone can get one, you don't have to be a designer or anything but it somehow made me feel official.

the teacher also pretty much told us to buy magazines. hee hee! like i needed an excuse!

today Jess and i did a Walmart shop this am and then this aft we went downtown and toured around the market and met Lynne for lunch.

great day.

tomorrow i have to do groceries but other than that i'm planning on a whole lotta nothing.

drinking strawberry wine, until it comes out her nose

well hopefully that won't happen. but i am drinking some courtesy of my best work bud Joanne and i must say it is easy drinking.

so, Nate has a derm appointment next Tuesday. crazy because it normally takes about 6 months to a year to get into a derm. very thankful. hopefully they can help because last night he woke up again and scratched his finger and foot raw again.

some of his spots are gone yet others seem to persist. we have figured out that seams seem to bug him i.e. the toe seam in socks.

i know in the grand scheme of things it could all be worse, its not like he has cancer or something but if you had to watch him scratch layers of his skin off until he bleeds just to get relief, ugh it breaks my heart and i don't know what else i can do.

in good news, Jess gets here in two more sleeps! i pick her up at the airport bright and early on Friday morning. woo hoo.

ok - i'm going to finish my wine now.

i heard the night birds picking up the song

as they say, when a door shuts a window opens. feeling very blessed today.

thats all i got to say