you start breathing in reverse

Nate kicked me in the face this morning - accidentally but i'm still not unconvinced that my nose isn't broken. ok, it probably isn't but it still hurts and feels swollen.

It's been nice having the husband home. Got so much done this weekend. vacuumed the whole house, washed and re-hung curtains, went through a bunch of papers needing to be filed away, purged the kids clothes, sewed a couple more pillows...of course now i'm exhausted.

wondering if i can stay up for Mad Men tonight.

when panic grips your body and your heart's a hummingbird

ok - mostly over my panic at least momentarily.

so, we got new neighbours today. they are Muslim. I do not believe that all Muslim's are terrorists but I must admit that I know little about their culture other than a lot of pre-conceived notions that are probably more based in fiction (i.e. 24 anyone?) than reality. I do not personally know any Muslim people. I did not go to school with any, I do not work with any.

I look forward to getting to know them if we have the opportunity. From the 2 minutes we met out front they seem very lovely. Her name is Ikram and his is Ahmed. They have 3 children around the same age as our children. It would be great if Nate (and Maggie) had a friend or two next door.

well, I think i'm going to go finish my book now, just an easy read Michael Connelly murder mystery - my version of chick-lit.

I am looking for an actual good book to read if anyone has any suggestions.

And the songs that we hear may be only reminiscent of romanticised times

oh and the lyrics from the other day should have read nail by nail, not brick by brick. what can you do, not going to look them up.

i am starting to panic. there doesn't seem to be enough time to do things. there are too many things to do...

crack it, crack it like a broken bone

i admire people who know what they want and go for it. there is an article in this week's Maclean's magazine about the "2nd most powerful man in Ottawa" Stephan Harper's aid Ray Novak.

i went to school with Raymond. i can recall him saying that he was going to be Prime Minister some day. looks like he's well on his way.

i admire this because i've never been that way. i've always been wishy washy in terms of life goals. i'm hard working and i like to be challenged yet i wouldn't consider myself ambitious.

on the weekend, mom, Aunt Judie and I also discussed why we never seem to be content with what we have. mostly in terms of housing. sometimes i wish i could be that person who never changes anything because it's "perfectly fine the way it is" but there's not much fun in that is there?

sometimes i wonder if i will ever truly be content and i should be. i have not only everything i need but pretty much everything i want. sure, it would be nice to have a little more money in the bank sometimes but really i'm not lacking anything.

still no word on the job, not holding my breath!

and brick by brick and board by board

Interview day...

It didn't go badly but it wasn't great either. First question was fine, the next was so specific to BD (about which I was very clear about not having any experience) I felt like they asked it to automatically exclude me.

Then by the end they were basically trying to sell me on a different (related) position. I think I held my own but I definitely don't think they are seriously going to consider me as a candidate for the position I applied for.

And, this very well could be a blessing as I did not get a great feeling for my could have been future boss.

As for the related position, I feel like it would be a step sideways and not up and therefore not worth it.

Oh well, it was all a good experience regardless of the outcome though I'm glad its over.

my cats are currently molesting the yak's wool wallet Jess sent Nate.

oh the future's got me worried, such awful thoughts, my head's a carousel of pictures the spinning never stops

well, i'm in single mom mode again for the next two weeks.

we've had a good weekend despite the obvious stress level, the packing, the leaving etc.

yesterday we went to visit Jay's fam including his brother (half) Josh in Carleton Place. His Aunt has a place on the lake and Nate had a ball in the water with Jay's Uncle Gord. I'm thinking if we can hit the beach every weekend he may end up swimming by summer's end.

last night Jay's mom came over to babysit and Jay and I went to the movies. We saw Predators. I know, but it was actually pretty good. Maybe because I went in with less than stellar expectations? I liked it enough that I would see a sequel if they do one (just none of that Alien vs Predator nonsense).

Today has been rather busy, making sure Jay was good to go this am and doing some last minute house stuff (moving some furniture around) etc.

I finished our new tv stand, a sideboard i picked up online, painted, put new legs on and "retro-fitted" by drilling some holes in in the back. So now the DVD and cable box can neatly be hidden behind the doors. It's much lower than the other unit we were using so its actually at a better height for watching and I painted it a very pale blue which provides a much needed break from all the espresso brown in the room.

It does leave a lot of wall space though, i may need to figure out some art. I thought about doing wall paper behind it but that would really compete with the fireplace as focal point. Speaking of the fireplace, i found the perfect affordable starburst mirror for it at Home Depot, its substantial looking and only $70! (If you have ever priced a decent starburst mirror or clock you know that's a steal).

I think my style can now be defined as transitional with hits of mid-century mod.

Well, I'm going to go and enjoy the rest of my lazy afternoon.

Will post pics of everything when its a bit more finished, the kids toys are still everywhere!

leave the secret talks on the trundle bed

i have come to the realization that i suck a board games. all board games. my not even 4 year old son beat me at Candy Land - twice! and what's even worse is i cheated the second game and still lost. now, in an attempt to redeem myself, i cheated for him too because he drew a card that would have made the game almost start over and it was past his bedtime.

crazy week at work. it just seemed like we got more work piled on us, less responsibility and we're being micro-managed like we haven't been in ages. I know my boss is stressed. this is actually partly my fault because she's afraid she'll lose me for the National CRM Leader position I'm interviewing for next week.

i'm trying to prepare for the interview. its been a very long time since i've had an interview. i'm reviewing the details of the job, the firm's strategic plan etc. apparently i'm not supposed to ask about money unless they bring it up.

also wondering whether i should be asking about overtime, travel etc. i.e. will it be requiring those things. i mean it is important for me to know but asking could give the impression that i'm already demanding...

also my boss made a bit of a comment today - although she has nothing to do with the hiring process for this position, she is part of the project as a whole and she sort of threw in a "oh, you're on holidays at the end of August, well, i'm sure they won't really be ready to move forward until Sept anyway" it could have been innocuous but it kind of felt like a barb.

but, despite what this job might offer, i can't let it take priority over my family. career is and has always been important to me but family is more important. sometimes i wish i could have it all. some sort of fantastic well paying job that i only had to do part time or from home so i could spend more time with the kids.

anyway, i'm really getting ahead of myself, i haven't even had the interview yet!

New Order's on the turn-table we're dancing, cause what else do you do when you don't talk

bad day. i hate bad days.

why is it that you can do a million things right and no one ever notices but you do one tiny little thing wrong and everyone does?

well, that was work today and it really wasn't even that big of a deal but sometimes I get so tired of the hierarchy and the politics and the BS but, most days I really like my job, I like the people (as much as i like anyone) and i feel very fortunate to have it.

i'm also so stressed so it doesn't take much to set me off.

it is also so hot tonight that when i got in my car at the park n ride i literally burnt my hand on the steering wheel - it was that hot, and then my arm when i rested it on the middle console.

Nate begged to go to the park so we walked there, slowly and of course we were the only souls who were "brave" enough to venture outside of their air-conditioned houses. I was sweating just sitting on the bench. We did discover some pretty wicked raspberries on the way home though.

And in really great news for anyone who's ever read about Nate's never ending poop issues - he has finally started going on his own (without a suppository)! seriously, we practically throw him a party every time he does it now. Unfortunately, he will only do it in a pull-up and occasionally in his underwear but I'm just so thrilled we aren't going through "poop night" every 5 - 7 days.

Yes I know the feeling, know you're leaving

at one time, the event was in the distant future or at least it seemed that way. over the past couple of weeks its been looming large and when I look at the weeks between now and then on the calendar i panic a little.

what once seemed so far away is now so very very close.

trying to get my ducks in a row, get organized. i'm nesting like you would before having a baby!

got a lead on a cleaning lady and a weekly babysitter so that is good. making plans for when Jess is in town - something to look forward to. also got a flyer tonight about a local business who delivers fresh organic produce on a weekly basis - will also look into that and/or some other dinner service like SupperWorks.

I start to question the viability of taking on a new job if I should get past the interview but, at the same time I'm going in (or trying to) with the belief/faith that if it's meant to work out it will and if it's not, it won't.

In more upbeat news, I/we had the best weekend up at the Lake visiting family and friends, hanging out at the beach etc. The weather was so perfect, hot and sunny. I did not want to come back home last night!