Tuesday, November 24, 2009

destination anywhere but here

today i cancelled my IUD removal that i had already postponed in October. this time i didn't bother re-booking.

its funny because it really depressed me. for the last little while i've been thinking about all of the positives of not having another baby. less daycare costs. we'll be able to start to do more things as the kids get older etc. and just trying to be very thankful for the healthy happy (mostly ;) family we have right now.

we even sold some of the extraneous baby gear.

i was actually excited about the possibility of being "done" and then i cancelled the appointment and it hit me like a ton of bricks. maybe this is it, maybe we are "done" and my heart felt a little empty.

in any event, its not like i'm having my tubes tied. we can still change our minds. i just have a feeling that the longer we take the harder it will be (for a multitude of reasons, age being one!).

probably not helping my mood is my reading of Generation Kill right now (a non-fiction about a group of Marines in Iraq by an embedded reporter). great book but lets face it war isn't exactly happy especially when its an actual account.

i think my next book needs to be a good trashy mystery novel. Kathy Reichs has a new one i haven't read yet.

1 comment:

  1. You have a fantastic family - enjoy it for now...who knows, in two years from now, the baby-itch may start again...and you're not that old :)

    Can't wait to hear about the potential promotion at work!