i was in the elevator at work and there was a pregnant woman and she was rubbing her belly and it just reminded me of how i was "supposed" to be pregnant again right now. a reminder of how the plans i had or thought i had are in the trash.
mini nervous breakdown.
but, i have to remind myself that there is a reason for this, perhaps its that it was "my" plan. perhaps i'll never know. i also have to remind myself of all the things i have to be thankful for. i already have two beautiful children.
its also not like i'm pining for another baby every day. in fact most days i think yep, done with that. so i was a little taken aback that it bothered me so much.
i think i'm also stressed about Jay's trip and what it will mean for me even thought its months away. which there is no point in doing so. i know that. logically at least.
ugh, life sometimes.